I've been thinking a lot lately about envy. I've likely been motivated by a couple of personal life incidents that were motivated by it, but were ascribed to other motivations.

People confuse the words envy and jealousy. For me, jealousy involves a relationship with another person that one fears is being threatened or encroached upon by someone else. It can be a romantic relationship, a professional partnership or a familial bond among other things.

Envy is something different - it's wanting something someone else has: a possession, an advantage, a personal characteristic or a talent or ability. I work hard at redirecting the feeling of envy when I experience it because it's a self-destructive waste of time.

Recently, I've experienced it myself and been in the path of the fallout when someone close to me experienced it. In both instances, the characteristic that was envied involved an innate gift or talent that was turned into an advantage by diligence and hard work.

In both cases, the enviers (both of them well into adulthood) threw screaming fits when they found themselves feeling envious. They blamed their negative feelings on the people they envy and, in one case, dragged a bunch of other people into the fray.

Envy can lead us all to an appreciation of our own abilities and advantages and the goodness of our lives. In some cases, it can also be a motivator that gets us off our behinds and sets us to work making the most of what we have. What it shouldn't be is a pit of misery to wallow in.