How Far Do You Reach When You Reach Out

There was an interesting item in my inbox this morning - a request from a photographer who is planning a photo shoot of a local semi-pro women's sports team.  I will not name the sport or the team, but will tell you that it involves skating, aggressive interactions between competitors and sexually provocative player attire.  The email message was a request to stage a photo shoot of the team in the nave of the church where I am rector.  It's a beautiful 125-year old neo-gothic building and we have made it available for photography in the past.  We've also refused a couple of requests.

A couple of years ago we were asked to make the space available for a film shoot.  It was, literally, a shoot. The scene envisioned by the director involved a confrontation in which a female character who flees to the church for refuge is pursued by an assailant who unleashes a hail of bullets and kills her in the center aisle of the church. That one was fairly straightforward.

The message I got today made me think twice.  I felt confident I should say no, but I wasn't exactly sure why.  Although the requested date for the photo shoot is the night before our annual meeting and the night of another big event that I need to attend, I might have tried to make it work.  I really want as many people in our community as possible to have a positive perception of our parish, of the Episcopal Church and of the church in general.  For me that involves challenging the perception that the church is an organization whose main purpose is to scold people for acting like human beings.  

The parish I serve is very generous in its outreach to the community, both in the resources it offers and the spirit in which it offers them.  Our congregation has kept calm and carried on in the presence of some extremely eccentric visitors at Sunday worship and various other events.  We do set limits, but they're generously devised and gently, albeit firmly enforced.   Our congregation is relatively young and we are located in a hip urban neighborhood populated by artists and young entrepreneurs.  The parish's ethos fits in with that of the neighborhood.   Part of our commitment to outreach involves opening the building for arts performances and community events and some of those occasionally push a more typical church's envelope of propriety.  Our congregation is at ease with the standards we have set.

 As a woman who became involved in competitive sports well into middle age (Title IX went into effect in the fall after I graduated from high school) I came to realize the value of athletic training and competition for women and girls at an age when I could truly understand it. 
My sport is tennis.  It has specific clothing that are associated with it.  To some extent that clothing is designed for ease of movement, facilitation of play, safety and care of the playing facilities.  It's also about looking attractive and short skirts are the norm for women players.   

The sport referenced in the email message I got this morning most likely has rules about the skates its players wear.  Beyond that, the players seem to create their own costumes.  I interpret their over-the-top provocativeness as an attempt to spoof our culture's hypersexual portrayals of women.  The irony of women playing a physically demanding and very aggressive sport attired as caricatures of "fallen women" is compelling, in a way.  But in a culture that continues to glorify violence against women, to undervalue their work and to constrain their choices, that irony and humor may be a luxury we cannot yet afford.

Here's my response to the email message:

Mr. ____, 

Thank you for your interest in using St. Mary's for a photo shoot on the evening of January 26.  It happens that that date falls the night before a major event at the church and I am reluctant to add to the calendar on that weekend.  Moreover, our staff will be occupied at another event that occurs on the evening of the 26th and it will be difficult to find someone to open the building.

Should you be inclined to choose a different date, I will comment that although I have great respect for the athletic skill and dedication to training of [your sport's] competitors, the sport in its contemporary form presents an outward image that portrays women in a manner distinctly different from the standards of St. Mary's. For that reason, even if the date you had selected were available on our calendar it would be difficult for me to give approval for the photo shoot in the church. 

I hope your team has a successful season this year.  I am a female athlete and I commend your efforts to promote women's sports in Kansas City.
The Rev'd Lauren Lyon
Rector